So you just got that huge bonus from your Wall Street firm and you want to keep up with the Joneses? Here are 13 suggestions to make sure you’re the top player on your block.

1. Marquis Jet Card – 365-day guaranteed access to the over 600 jets in the NetJets fleet. $189,900 for a 25-hour card for Citation X.

2. Virgin Galactic – for $20K down (refundable even) and a total cost of $200,000, book a flight on Virgin Galactic and get into space, sometime in ‘09. By then, you should be retired, so should have the time.

3. Buy your own Executive Producer credit on an independent movie – should cost about $500,000. Go to IndieVest.com and write a check for the next Little Miss Sunshine.

4. Anyone can get their own label slapped on a few cases of plonk. A Master of the Universe buys the whole vineyard – think Russell Crowe in the recent yawner, “A Good Year” – no, actually, think about the girl in that movie. The vineyard in Napa should run you about $3 million and up. Start your search at <a href=”http://www.winecountryretreats.com/vineyards.html?gclid=CL2vzN7a74gCFRpcYQod _GNjjw”>Wine Country Retreats.

5. Need to lean on a politician, hop to the house in the Hamptons, or drop in at Atlantic City to gamble? Use a Sikorsky helicopter – seats six and has a range of 450 miles. Shares start at around $250,000.

6. Didn’t get the MBA but still made it on Wall Street? Pick a graduate school, endow a chair and buy biz-school cred. $5 million and up at Stanford/Harvard, probably a lot less at Fordham or Melon.

7. Sick of 5 star hotels? Timeshare, baby. Join invitation-only destination club, Ciel, for a million down and $70K a year. Get access for you and the kiddies to fabulous $10M+ homes around the world. Brought to you by the billionaire founder of Ameritrade, J. Joe Ricketts.

8. Need airtime? Want to avoid getting in the cross-hairs of Dealbreaker? Get our own personal publicist for the year. Probably runs about $10,000 per month. While you are at it, hire a grad from the NYU English dept. and ghost write a blog for you, so that you manage your web image. The blog should cost about $50 per post, so roughly $15,000 a year.

9. Get your Weekend Getaway. Lots of options here, including a pad at the new Residences at the Ritz-Calrton Grand Cayman, from $3.9 million and up (17 left). Or consider a $300,000 membership to the Setai Club in Miami and get unlimited access to one of the Club suites, as well as a bunch of other benefits.

10. Cruise the Med: Join PrivatSea, a new super-yacht membership program, that takes the hassle out of living the Onassis life. PrivatSea selects the yachts and crews, assists members with trip planning, provisioning, provides access to private clubs (such as the Monte Carlo Country Club), and special events (such as the Monaco Grand Prix) while you are yachting. From $200,000 to $1.4 million annually – and avoid owning an asset that never appreciates.

11. Get some art: take one from the playbook of Stevie Cohen (reportedly has spent over $700 million on his art collection), head to Art Basel (Miami or Switzerland each year), with an art consultant in tow, and pick up something for the foyer. Just don’t do what Steve Wynn did to his Picasso, and put your elbow through it.

12. Upgrade the wheels. Order a bespoke Rolls-Royce Phantom. That means custom. Get your initials engraved in the wood veneer and head rests. Or turn the glove compartment into a humidor. It might take a while though – German-owned but the work is still being done in the U.K. Expect to pay $400,000 and up, depending on what they do for you.

13. Get some buddies together and back a hot young chef/DJ, open a new bar/restaurant/club, designate your favorite table, and go so often that you get sick of it. Close it down a year later.

UPDATE (12/20/06): And if you’d rather give your money away than spend it, we just posted a list of 13 Ways to Become an Instant- Philanthropist.